Date: 29th March 2010 at 9:06am
Written by:

7 – 1. The real explanation

Now there are several things you know will happen in life. Taxes. Lying, cheating, thieving politicians. Death. And the fact that when you break a tradition/superstition, something bad happens.

Monday to Friday I have a Weetabix covered with a sprinkling of Cornflakes. I don’t buy a paper. Saturday and Sundays are different. I have hot Scotts Porridge Oats and buy the Daily Mail/ Mail on Sunday.

Saturday morning I opened the cupboard only to discover that there were none of the afore mentioned Porridge Oats.

No problem me thinks.

I will go and buy my paper and get some from my local store. So I stroll into my local shop, looking resplendent in old tracksuit bottoms, slippers, grubby shirt and sporting ‘designer’ stubble.

I bid Mustapha good day and ask where he stacks the porridge oats. Only to be met with a blank look. He actually looks that way most of the time, but on Saturday morning his brow furrowed a little deeper than normal. He showed me rabbit food, dog food, muesli and a fine selection of pre packed pitta breads. But no Porridge.

I knew then that the day could go two ways.

First it could go really well. We beat Chelsea 4 – 0 and I never eat porridge oats again.

Or the second thing could happen. And it did!!!

So the reason for Saturday was actually Mrs VOTH.

Had she have done her job and kept the cupboards full then the result would never have happened. I will be filing for divorce. Or was it me? Did I not motivate her. Should I have encouraged her where to go and what to buy? Should I have done the job myself?

Then I slapped myself and vowed never to doubt myself again. Of course it was her fault. Anybody know a good solicitor??