Date: 28th January 2010 at 4:41pm
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Martin O’Neill has signed a new foreign super-kid.

On the new boy’s first day of training, O’Neill picks up a ball and shouts very slowly:

‘You get this and kick it at the goal.’

The new super-kid looks a bit bewildered but carries on nonetheless.

The next day at training, exactly the same thing happens.

O’Neill stops play, scoops the ball up and shouts – even slower than last time:

‘You get this and score a goal.’

Again the young foreign kid looks discombobulated, but carries on.

On the third day, it happens again:

‘You get this and score a goal.’

This time, the foreign super-kid finally cracks, so shouts to his new manager:

‘Boss, I speak very good English and know what to do!’

O’Neill says:

‘Not you son, I’m talking to Heskey!’