Date: 13th January 2012 at 10:18am
Written by:

McLeish: Afternoon lads, I’ve done what no other Villa manager has ever done and signed Robbie Keane!

*McLeish throws his arms open in the direction of Robbie Keane*

McLeish: Robbie Keane everywun! Welcome Robbie Keane!

*the lads clap at Robbie Keane*

Gabby: Um… This is great boss, I mean we’ve been after him since I started here but…. What’s wrong with him?

McLeish: Wrong with him? Wrong with him!? There’s nae wrong with him, look at him there…

*Robbie Keane is sat on the floor rocking slowly with his hands on his knees turning his head side to side as he is apparently muttering to himself*

Keane: Boyhood club…. Yes… Yes… Wore Villa shirt…. When I was a boy. OVER my Celtic and Liverpool shirts…. Cold Irish winters …. Brrr ….Boyhood Club…..

McLeish: Well…? Give him a proper welcome.

*the lads look at each other nervously, Heskey bravely steps forward.*

Heskey: Hi Robbie, I’m a big fan of yours, me and the fiancee were only saying the other day we should have ‘somewhere only we know’ as our first dance, love it.

Keane (without looking up): Yeah. song…. I probably sang that, I tink. I am Keane….

*encouraged Gabby approaches hand outstretched.*

Gabby: Hi Robbie, pleased to meet y…

*Keane lunges biting at Gabby’s hand*

Keane: BOYHOOD CLUB!

*Gabby quickly pulls his hand away and raises both of them as he backs away slowly*

Gabby: Whoa!….. WHOA!!… Um…

*Gabby who is frozen still shifts his eyes to McLeish who laughs nervously*

McLeish: … Alright lads, tha’s enough, he’s just a wee bit …. Well travelled.

Petrov (whispering whilst leaning to Bent): Well travelled!? I’ve seen this happen before, you make one move too many…

*Bent sits with wide eyes*