Date: 23rd September 2010 at 1:09pm
Written by:

*We join the lads celebrating their win against Blackburn*

Heskey: Oh yeah! The Emilinator’s back baby!

A.Young: The what?

Heskey: ‘The Emilinator’, the goal scoring machine.

*Heskey does ‘the robot’*

Carew: Please, goal scoring machine….

Heskey (in a robot voice): How….Many… Goals…. Have ….You ….Scored…This…Term?

Carew: None, but I’ve been coming closer and…

*Houllier enters. Heskey (as a robot) pours an invisible teapot into an invisible teacup takes a sip, rubs his belly then offers the cup to Carew*

Heskey: Have….Some …. Goal scoring …. Juice.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Carew: Emile, if you don’t move that hand away from my face I will break it for you.

Houllier: Carew! Drink ze juice at once!

Carew: Drink the…. Boss it’s not even real!

Houllier: Drink up or I will trade you to Aston Villa so fast!….

Carew: But I’m AT Aston Villa.

*Houllier menacingly makes a ‘drinky drinky’ gesture at Carew, Carew sighs*

Carew: Fine. Whatever.

*Carew takes ‘the cup’ and pretends to drink from it*

Heskey: Whoa man, don’t drink it all we’ve got a full season to go!

*Carew rolls his eyes*

Houllier: Well done gentleman, you know in France we have a saying ‘When ze going it gets tough. Surrender’ but you did not do zis and I am tres proud.