Date: 1st February 2010 at 11:23am
Written by:

*We join the lads celebrating their victory over Fulham, MON enters, despite the win he seems annoyed*

MON: Long ball team!? Long ball? I swear if one more person mentions ‘long ball’ I’m going to kill them!

A.Young: Come on boss, everyone knows it’s not true, the statistics are there to be seen.

Milner: Aye an’ even the meern man Alan Shearer said it like, who knows more about football than Shearer man?

*The lads look at each other silently*

MON: Enough about that anyway, Gabriel you scored! And twice, why you went through defenders like Vanessa Perroncel!

Gabby: Thanks boss.

MON: Yes, I’m so glad you finally netted in the league, I was considering offering you in a swap deal for Jason Scotland.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter, MON is laughing an obviously fake, hearty laugh that goes on a little too long*

MON: Yes, what a funny joke.

*MON peers at the screen on his mobile phone, it reads ‘Roberto Martinez Call?’, he presses cancel*

Heskey: Ha ha ha Jason Scotland, he never scores does he?

*The lads all look at Heskey, he lowers his head*

MON: And my fantastic defenders another clean sheet.

*The defenders high five each other and pat each other on the back*

MON: Richard, James, Luke you’re like an impenatrable wall and Carlos with your beard and no-nonsense attitude you’re like a young Chuck Norris.

Cuellar: Viva Chuck Norris!

*The dressing Room erupts with laughter, the door knocks loudly, MON answers it, it’s Steve the coach driver*

Steve: Ready for the long haul team!?

*MON leaps at Steve, he is throttling him and flushed with rage*

A.Young: He said haul boss! Haul!

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