Date: 22nd April 2010 at 12:44pm
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*We join the lads leaving the pitch and heading to the Dressing Room, Richard Dunne is stopped for an interview*

SKY Sports Interview: Great match out there Richard a well earned ….

Dunne: If he dies, he dies!

*Dunne stares menacingly into the camera before heading to the Dressing Room, the lads are celebrating their win, MON arrives, he’s furious*

MON: What were you thinking!? 2- nil!? 2!?…. Nil!?

*The lads look confused*

Milner: Are you … mad like boss?

MON: Yes I’m mad ‘like’, What did I tell you before you went out there?

Carew: To win?

MON: …..and….

*Gabby raises his hand he’s pointing it in the air excitedly*

Gabby: Ooh ooh, I know! Pick me boss, me!

MON: Gabriel.

Gabby: To win 1-nil?

MON: Yes I said win 1-nil, none of this showing off nonsense, did you not hear Mick McCarthy? It’s about points not goals. We’re not the flippin’ Harlem Globetrotters!

Cueller: Mmm, trotters … The forbidden meat.

*The defensive warriors are tucking into hog and massive turkey legs*

A.Young: But it’s good to have a healthy margin, I think the fans prefer that than biting their nails in the last ten minutes.

MON: The fans!? The fans!? I know what the fans want! Magic and rainbows and champions league. You don’t get that winning 2-0 do you!?

A.Young: Well technically…..

*Warnock is crawling to the post-match defence warrior feast*

Warnock: Boss why didn’t you sub me? The physio said he was going to have to amputate out there.

MON: Pah! Amputate shmamputate! I can’t be seen to be making substitutions in the first half. How would I hit them with my surprise tactics later on?

A.Young: You mean bringing on Sidwell and Carew for Heskey in the last five or ten minutes.

MON: Exactly! They never see it coming. Rotation, rotation, rotation.

*The lads all roll their eyes*