Date: 7th December 2009 at 10:55am
Written by:

*We join the lads celebrating their 3-0 victory over Hull, MON is doing his ‘victory jig’*

Downing: Soor boss I reckon that was a reet good match eh?

*MON fixes Downing with an icy stare whilst still jigging, NRC leans into Downing*

NRC (whispering): You don’t interrupt the jig.

Downing: Oh, sorry I didn’t know like.

*MON ends the jig*

MON: Great match lads, great match. Steven that was the best match you’ve had in a Villa shirt, you’ve never been so productive.

Sidwell: Well technically boss I wasn’t in the Villa shirt …

MON: I said ‘a’ not ‘the’. The days of your orange bonce clashing with the claret and blue are over, there’s a new man in the middle, James Milner. What a managing masterstroke for me to move him there, who but me, Martin O’Neill fantastic player and excellent manager would’ve thought of that?

A.Young: Well I’d seen the idea bandied about on few forums and….

MON: Forums!? Ashley what have I told you about messing about on that interweb! Need I remind you of Russia?

*Young hangs his head*

A.Young (quietly): No boss.

MON: Need I!?

A.Young: No boss.

MON: .. And furthermore I suspect that James and Emile’s bandaged hands have something to do with your online ‘competitions’!

*Young, Heskey and Milner all shift their eyes guiltily*

MON: Oh yes don’t think you can pull fast ones over my eyes!

Robertson: You mean the wool Martin. Pull the wool over your eyes.

MON: No Johnno, no I don’t.