Date: 14th September 2010 at 11:35am
Written by:

*We join the lads glum after their 2-1 defeat, Gabby enters drying his hands on his shorts*

Gabby: Stupid hand dryers … Anyway, ‘Celebrate good times come on!….’

*Gabby dances about the room and nudges Warnock*

Gabby: Come on Warny, celebrate! We won right? *Gabby puts on a really low voice* ‘it’s a celebration’

*Gabby scans the room of hanging heads*

Gabby: Wait a minute …. We did win …. I mean I pinged the ball ‘Ping’ and Downing was all like pow! So that was that right?

A.Young: Well … After you went off … They kind of equalised …

Gabby: Ah, well I suppose a point here’s not so bad.

*Gabby begins dancing again only a little more subtle*

Collins: Yeah …. Well …. The match wasn’t finished yet and….

Gabby: Oh yeah? So Big Emile got the winner!? …. Tell me you got the winner Emile.

*Heskey’s head drops*

Gabby: Tell me you guys didn’t fluff it when I went off again…

*Gabby stops dancing trying to make eye contact with any of the players.*

Gabby: I was off the pitch 7 minutes, tell me you can cope for 7 minutes!? Where’s Stilyan?

*Petrov enters, he’s caked with mud and carrying a shovel*

A.Young: You’re filthy Stan, where have you been?

Petrov: With you guys… Since the end of the match if anyone asks. Anyone want a whistle or some cards?

Delph: Oooh ooh I’ll have the cards!