Date: 25th March 2010 at 11:42am
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*We join the lads indifferent after a draw with Sunderland, MON is wearing a black tie over his tracksuit jacket, his face is streaked with tears*

A.Young: Wow the boss is taking this really hard. Hey boss, you’re not upset about the whole ‘throwing it away in March’ thing are you?

*MON is looking away, silent and solemn*

A.Young: I mean we’re trying our best, aren’t we guys?

*The lads all nod and audibly agree. MON’s bowed head is unmoving*

A.Young: I know the defence aren’t as stingy as they’ve been….

*Collins and Dunne flashback to a conversation before the game with Frazier Cambpell*


Campbell: Hey guys, I know it’s cheeky to ask but mind if I score a goal? I’m only young and trying to find my way in the game.

*Collins and Dunne look at each other then back at Campbell*

Cambell: I mean it’s hard going, Darren scores all the goals. My mum and dad come to all my matches, they think I’m a goalkeeper!

*Campbell bursts into floods of tears, Dunne puts a comforting arm around him*

Dunne: OK dere buddy, but just tha’ one.

*Dunne winks, Cambpell immediately stops crying and beams*

Campbell: Yay!


MON: No,no, it’s not that, it’s Emile, his injury … It’s finished his career.

*The lads all gasp, MON raises a framed picture of a young, grinning Heskey in his Leicester strip*

Heskey: What? My career’s not over. The physio said…

MON: Oh I’ll never be able to put his sweet name on my team sheet again.

Heskey: I can play again boss, I’m fine.

MON: When they stretchered him off the pitch I knew that was that. No more Emile in the team, it’s almost more than I can bear.

Heskey: I didn’t get stretchered off, I just have a knock, look.

*Heskey vibrantly kicks the air and jogs on the spot*

MON: Oh how the Villa faithful will miss his flair and panache.

*Ashley Young pats Heskey on the back*

A.Young: It was nice playing you with you big fella.

Heskey: I’m not…

*Milner presents Heskey with a card, Heskey reads it*

Heskey: ‘Sorry you had to RETIRE’?!

*The card is a comedy one with an old man changing the tyres on a broken down vintage car.*

Heskey: Wait, this is signed by everyone, how long have you had this?

MON: Sorry Emile.

*MON is now Sheperding Heskey out of the dressing room with an arm, Heskey is turned looking over his shoulder.*

Heskey: Hey ….I’m not finished guys …. I…

*The door is closed and Heskey is stood outside alone, he can hear Kool and the Gang’s ‘Celebration’ begin to chime from the room, peering in he sees MON dad dancing, his tie now around his head and Nathan Delfouneso jigging on a table in a party hat.*


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