Date: 22nd September 2010 at 10:19am
Written by:

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Blackburn Rovers, there is a knock at the door, Houllier answers it*

Houllier: Ah El Hadji! Bonjour! Is nice of an opposition player to come and wish us ze luck before….

*Diouf ignores Houllier and scans the room, locking eyes with Friedel*

Friedel: Have you come to see me buddy? Catch up on old times?

*Diouf’s soulless eyes don’t even blink as he charges at Friedel and shoulder barges him to the ground*

Guzan: Hey! Whats the matter with you dude!? you can’t just come in here and….

*Diouf eyes Guzan’s kit up and down and charges at him, knocking him to the floor. He then looks around the room once more until finding Andy Mashall, he’s sat wearing his cardigan and slippers, smoking a pipe, reading the Independant and eating his Werther’s Originals*

Marshall: What ho young Diouf?

*Diouf runs at Marshall knocking him flying from his rocking chair*

Marshall: Yeaaaarrgggh!! Me dodgy hip!

Houllier: Right! Zis is ‘ow zey say ‘it’!

*Houllier grabs Diouf by the ear and drags him towards his own dressing room*

Diouf: Ow!

*As they approach Blackburn’s open dressing room Sam Allardyce can be heard shouting*

Allardyce: Ee bah gum! Kill a lot! I say Kill a lot!

Houllier: Bonjour Big Samir, I have for you un oik!

*Houllier slings Diouf into the room.*

Houllier: I heard you outside, you are watching ze ‘Robot Wars’? Most peculiar before a match.

Allardyce: What’s Robot Wars?

Player: Yeah! Kill ’em all! Woooo!

*Houllier instantly recognises the voice*

Houllier: Fabian! Get back to our dressing room at once!

*Delph stands, removes the Blackburn shirt he’s wearing and skulks out of the room*

Delph: Oh man!


Comments are closed on this article.