Date: 2nd April 2010 at 12:17pm
Written by:

*We join the lads preparing for their clash against Bolton, MON is nowhere to be seen the lads are whispering amoungst themselves*

A.Young: Maybe the rumours were true.

*The doors are kicked open and MON appears, his lips are moving but the lads can’t hear what he’s saying*

Heskey: We can’t hear you boss!

*MON removes his astronaut helmet*

A.Young: He sure knows how to make himself unavailable for comment.

MON: Oh Sorry lads, listen last week we were killed …. Literally buried.

*The lads solemnly nod*

MON: But I am rolling away the stone and coming back! This week I’ll show all the doubting Thomases!

Heskey: Boss …. Are you comparing yourself to Jesus?

MON: Jesus? Did Jesus win the European Cup!?

*A.Young turns to his laptop*

A.Young: According to Wikipedia he’s won it four times …. Twice with an Apostle select 11, twice with Jerusalem FC.

MON: Well, you can’t argue with Wikipedia…. Anyway we’ll show them it’s not how hard you go down it’s how quick you get up! Have you seen what the old boys have been saying about you!? Gabby, Zat Knight said your only as ugly as you are stupid.

Gabby: Ah, that’s nice of him.

MON: No, it was an insult!

Gabby: The fiend! I’ll show him!

MON: Ashley, Gary Cahill said he has more chance of getting in the England squad than you.

A.Young: Well technically….

MON: even if he had his legs eaten by sharks!

A.Young: Sharks!? I hate sharks, Why I’ll show him!

MON: And John … Jlloyd Samuel said … Well they didn’t interview him … Why would they? But if they did he would’ve said that you perhaps have more interest in rubbing shoulders with glamour girls than playing for Villa!

*Carew is on the phone*

Carew: How many girls? The Daily Star you say? At what time …. Hmm I’ll probably have to be subbed to make that….. I’m there.

*Carew puts his hand over the mouthpiece*

Carew: How dare he!? The very idea! I’ll show him!