Date: 27th October 2010 at 1:26pm
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We join the lads filing into the dressing room followed by Houllier*

Houllier: Bonjour gentleman, I ‘ave been to see zis Burnley play and zey are terrible, really, zey stink up the pitch with zere awful, awful attempts at football. We will crush zem!

*Houllier pumps a hearty fist, the lads remain silent, staring at Houllier*

Houllier: Hmm, not ze reaction I was ‘oping for. Did I mention zat I ‘ear zey eat children!? Well, zey do. Evil zey are zese Burnley thugs. Now let’s go out zere and beat zem!

*Houllier still gets no reaction*

Houllier: OK …. I see you are all intently focussed on the match. Emile, as usual I will be depending on you to score the goals.

Eagles: I’m Chris Eagles Mr.Houllier.

Houllier: And Ashley, if you could win a few free kicks and pass the ball to Emile, zat would be greatly appreciated.

Alexander: I’m Graham Alexander!

Houllier: Ho hoooo, you think I don’t get your playing ze trick on ze new manager!? When I was a boy in France we would do zese things all ze time. Now Emile take off zis ridiculous wig.

Eagles: Yeaaaaarrrggghh!!

*Houllier wrenches at Eagles’ hair*

Houllier: And I know all about zese amazing prosthetic masks.

Eagles: My Face! My beautiful face!

*Heskey and Young pop their heads around the door to check the commotion*

Heskey: Is everything OK in here, you’re …. Boss! Why are you attacking Chris Eagles?!

Houllier: Because he is cunningly disguised as you Emile!

*Heskey and Young look each other, then back at the scene*

Young: Fabian! Surely you know that’s not Emile in disguise.

*Delph releases Eagles hair and dusts his hands.*

Delph: Of course I do.

*Delph whistles to himself as he strolls out of the Burnley dressing room past Young and Heskey in the doorway*

Houllier: Hmmm, it appears zere has been some sort of mix up, well best of luck to you boys in our match.

*Houllier, Heskey and Young leave Burnley comforting a sobbing Eagles*