*We join the lads frankly not doing anything in preparation for their match against Chelsea.*
Houllier: C’mon Everybody sing along…. ‘Joe le taxi!….’
A.Young: Boss, we’ve been listening to ‘Joe le taxi’ on repeat for at least an hour straight now….
*Houllier holds up a CD*
Houllier: You would prefer Kraftwerk’s ‘Tour de France’ again?
A.Young: No, I …
Houllier: Lady Marmalade? With ze ‘Voulez vous coucher avec moi?….’
Houllier: ce soir?
All the lads: No.
*Houllier rummages through his CDs*
Houllier: Kylie Minouge’s ‘Je ne sais pas pourquoi?’ again? It is ‘ow you say ‘a classic’!
All the lads: NO!
Carew: Oh hell no!
A.Young: I just think we’re being a bit lackadaisical in our approach to Chelsea is all.
Houllier: You could say ‘laissez-faire’?
A.Young: Well I guess.
*the lads all wait in silence*
A.Young: Wait … You actually want me to say laissez faire?
Houllier: Oui, now that you have butchered ma beautiful language with your fat english tounge we can continue. Now I have no concern with Chelsea, two reasons.
Gabby: No thanks boss, don’t like raisins, they reak havoc with my tummy.
Houllier: Non, not raisins, reasons.
Gabby: Yeah… No raisins thanks. Tummy.
*Houllier jumps up and down*
Houllier: Reasons! Reasons!
Gabby: OK fine, I don’t want to rock the boat just give me the raisins, but you’re all going to be suffering at half time.
A.Young: He’s saying ‘reasons’ Gabby. What are they boss?
Houllier: Reason number one, I remember Chelsea from my days at Liverpool, they are ‘ow you say ‘rubbish’
Friedel: Boss, I, um, things have changed a little since then….
Houllier: They’ve not changed so much I can’t ship you down to Blackburn so fast!…
Friedel: OK, OK…. Um, what’s the second reason?
Houllier: We ‘ave Emile.
*Heskey nods from his chez-long whilst being fanned by one bikini model and fed grapes by another*
Heskey: Oh, Ashley … How did England get on? I would liked to have watched the match but I was far to busy recounting all the goals I’ve scored recently.
Gabby: So… Where are my raisins?