Date: 12th February 2010 at 10:59am
Written by:

*The lads are gearing up for their F.A Cup clash against Crystal Palace*

MON: OK lads, we’re going to Crystal Palace. It’s going to be….

Gabby: A Crystal Palace? Does the queen live there?

MON: No Gabriel.

Gabby: What about the king?

MON: King? What king? There is no king. It’s a football team, Anyway at Selhurst Park ….

Gabby: The park? I thought we were going to a palace?

MON: Hercules!

*The Hercules the lion Mascot enters the Dressing Room, he does a silent, little dance*

Gabby: Oooh a lion.

*Gabby leaves his chair and sits on the floor cross-legged facing the dancing lion mascot as MON continues*

MON: Anyway where was I? Ah yes, Crystal Palace are a…

Milner: Soor what like? We go in a room and solve a puzzle? If we make it we get a crystal if we fail we get locked in the room and…

MON: That’s Crystal Maze!

*Ashley Young and Milner are now engaged in conversation*

A.Young: ….. and all the tickets are flying around in the massive dome….

*MON is jumping up and down*

MON: I said that’s Crystal Maze! Look lads we have to be cautious of this team, they knocked out Wolves last round.

Carew: Wolves!?

MON: The football team.

Carew: Wolves that play football!?

MON: Well …. Not really.

Carew: So…

MON: Bella!

*Bella the lioness Mascot enters the Dressing Room, she does a silent, little dance. Carew scrambles for his wallet in his trousers whilst watching over his shoulder*

MON: Anyway enough of this nonsense. Stilyan are you fit enough to play?

*Petrov winces and shakes his head*

Petrov: No boss.

*MON tosses Petrov the captain’s armband*

MON: Then lead the lads to victory!

*MON is making his way to the door*

Petrov: I said no boss.

MON: Victory!

*Petrov stares at the now vacant doorway.*

Carew: Woooooooooo!