Date: 22nd October 2010 at 1:56pm
Written by:



We join the lads gearing up for their match against Sunderland*

Houllier: Bonjour ma petit bon bons! Let us ‘ave a fitness check. Richard, Marc, Emile ‘ow are you feeling?

Dunne: Top a da world bass.

Albrighton: Good boss, I’m good to play.

Heskey: I’m about 60%, so more likely to score than John at least.

Houllier: Excellent, and Stilyan?

Petrov: I’m dying…

Sidwell: Yay!

Petrov(through gritted teeth): to be fit!

Sidwell: Oh …. Um … I mean yay?

NRC: Seriously Steve? Surely you wouldn’t wish ill on one of our players so you could play?

Sidwell: Of course not.

NRC: Are you sure? You put on a party hat just there.

*Sidwell removes his party hat*

Sidwell: I like to wear party hats sometimes.

NRC: You’re kicking me in the legs now … As we speak.

Sidwell: Oh…. I am, aren’t I.

NRC: Well…. Could you stop?

Sidwell: Oh … Yeah, sorry, force of habit.

Clark: Hey Richard did you see? I’m irish now like you, Paul McGrath and to a lesser extent Tony Cascarino.

Dunne: Aye.

Clark: ……You? What?

Dunne: No ‘Aye’, like yes.

Clark: You like yes?….. I don’t get it?