We join the lads gearing up for their match against Sunderland*
Houllier: Bonjour ma petit bon bons! Let us ‘ave a fitness check. Richard, Marc, Emile ‘ow are you feeling?
Dunne: Top a da world bass.
Albrighton: Good boss, I’m good to play.
Heskey: I’m about 60%, so more likely to score than John at least.
Houllier: Excellent, and Stilyan?
Petrov: I’m dying…
Petrov(through gritted teeth): to be fit!
Sidwell: Oh …. Um … I mean yay?
NRC: Seriously Steve? Surely you wouldn’t wish ill on one of our players so you could play?
Sidwell: Of course not.
NRC: Are you sure? You put on a party hat just there.
*Sidwell removes his party hat*
Sidwell: I like to wear party hats sometimes.
NRC: You’re kicking me in the legs now … As we speak.
Sidwell: Oh…. I am, aren’t I.
NRC: Well…. Could you stop?
Sidwell: Oh … Yeah, sorry, force of habit.
Clark: Hey Richard did you see? I’m irish now like you, Paul McGrath and to a lesser extent Tony Cascarino.
Clark: ……You? What?
Dunne: No ‘Aye’, like yes.
Clark: You like yes?….. I don’t get it?