Date: 2nd March 2012 at 1:11pm
Written by:

On the day Aston Villa fan and current Prime Minister David “Dave” Cameron refused to sign an EU austerity treaty, it seems only fair to look at our favourite club`s financial situation ahead of Saturday`s match against Chicken-Farm-FC!

Aston Villa announced a loss of money that would bring as much shock and surprise to the average fan, as Emile Heskey would, back heeling past the keeper from 12 yards Christiano Ronaldo style! Owner Randolph Lerner had to put £25million of his own cash into the club to prop it up. Sadly, £12million are alleged to have gone to previous managers Gerard Houllier, who left due to medical issues, and Martin O`Neill, who left because he was a twazzock.

A terrible sign of the way football is going sadly, Manchester City announced a loss of £194million compared to our £56million. Meanwhile, Port Vale (League Two) are looking to a man who`s 54% takeover bid at £1.2million (that`s less than Marlon Harewood`s legs) to save the 136-year-old-club.

Alas, this is a preview about Aston Villa`s next fixture against Blackburn Rovers. Two teams who have had fans organise protests and indeed have been highlighted by the media. Interesting to note that the Blackburn fans back the team for 90 minutes, rather than singing anti-manager songs!

It`s Villa,
Anti-McLeish chants?
You`re just chickens!

Vital Quotes:

It turns out, as are reporting, that it is not the manager, the poor signings by previous managers, a lack of confidence, nor acts of God that leave Aston Villa in as desperate a position as they currently occupy within the Premier League table.

It is just the fact they can`t see!

Striker Gabby Agbonlahor spoke to the official site regarding the visit of an optician to Bodymoor Heath!

‘I think someone came in to see if a lot of the players needed their eyes tested and a few of the players need contact lenses.”

‘There’s a few of the players wearing them and a few of them have got glasses as well. I wear the glasses out of football.

‘It’s hard to tell if it’s helped because I’ve been so long without any contacts or glasses. I’ve been playing for that long and you think to yourself why change it?

‘But, as the woman said, if it can help you a little bit and make you a better player by improving your eyes, then why not?’

At least we should know vaguely where the goal is! Rumour has it an ear, nose and throat technician is visiting the training ground next week to sort out striker-come-winger Emile Heskey`s balance!

I`m not bothering with the normal Arsene Wenger “guess who” gag, nor am I bothering with comments from anyone on the Blackburn Rovers side of things, with the exception of the fact that one of their club`s protest leaders spoke of their anger at the owners and the state of the club.

Funny thing was, he suggested that following their 3 separate protest marches to Ewood, they would be backing the manager and the team for 90 minutes. One assumes that all hell breaks loose during injury time! Our manager, Alex McLeish has been on the offensive against those who doth protest against him!

Mat Kendrick over at the Birmingham Mail paraphrased a number of his comments, that those wanting to protest against the manager should take note of.

“I don`t say to players ‘Go and play negatively, go and pass the ball back.”

He added:

“I`d hate to think, and it would be really disappointing, if they don`t give the players on the field the absolute support.

“They can put their grievances against me aside for the 90 minutes and give those boys their support.”

Sod the manager, when you step into the ground Villans, back the team!

Blackburn Team News:

Some Tekker`s are good, but some Tekker`s are baaaaaaid! The hero of the bad Tekkers, David Dunn is available again following his recovery from a thigh injury. Gael Givet and Jason Lowe are banned, Martin Olsson may miss out through injury.

Player to watch: Paul Robinson from Neighbours

Pauly R, retired from England duty is one of the top English keepers in the league in my opinion! Had it not been given we`d sign Given, I`d have loved us to pick him up. The odd error aside, I think he will have quite a good game against us! Also remember banter from him with the Holte End. The chant of “England`s, number 3” was met with him turning around and holding 4 fingers up. Quality!

Villa Team News:

To name all our injuries would take longer than it has to write this preview! Bent out, Dunne Out, In Out. That`ll do.

Nathan Delfouneso is back from his loan at Leicester where he didn`t score a goal, so hopefully will be irrelevant.

Stan Petrov, Jimmy Collins and Al Hutton return from injury. Gabby Agbonlahor is set to start up-front with Stephen Ireland playing behind him in the “hole.”

Player to watch: Agbonlahor / Weeman

Gabby has his chance to stake a claim for striker glory. When talking about Andreas Weimann Mc`Leish said “how do you drop Darren Bent?” I feel this is the perfect time for both Gabby and Weimann to point out the reasons why!

Match Facts & Stats

Rather than subject the masses to that pathetic competition that sent losers to the Eurovision Song Contest, the BBC have simply offered the chance to an artist instead. A song for Tevez perhaps?

Time for some Blackburn Facts!

Blackburn is a large town in Manchester!

Notable people from Blackburn include Diana Vickers, an X-Factor contestant who a quick google search suggests she is gorgeous! Also Carl Fogarty.

Ghandi once visited! He didn`t stop long mind you.

I`ve run out of interest. Perhaps I`m playing for a 0-0 draw?

What you guys doing this weekend? I won`t be at the game, playing hockey, then going to the supermarket. Probably pass less back than our squad!

Ref Watch:

The ref for this fixture is none other than…who knows. I can`t find it again! Any ideas? I mean generally speaking they are rubbish but…

Match Prediction:

8-0 Villa…simples!

Next Fixtures:

Villa return to their homeland to take on Fulham on the 10th March

Thanks for reading folks, I will hopefully be back in time for the Fulham match…unlike Michael Jackson!