Date: 26th March 2012 at 6:38pm
Written by:

*We join the lads disheartened after their 3-0 defeat to Arsenal*

McLeish: Now now lads, look at tha’ brightside at least tha’ fans will nae expect much better of you against Chelsea.

Heskey: Hmm, that is a brightside. I must say I’m really finding my form in behind the striker….in defensive midfield boss, it’s a tactical masterstr…

Gabby: What!? That’s not a brightside! It’s dull! Just like our football!

*some of the lads make a rabble in agreement, McLeish is shocked and outraged*

McLeish: Dull? Dull!? How many times must I tell you, that I play drab, ineffective, boring, defensive football is a myth!? A complete myth! Like seahorses and….. Stone henge!

Petrov: Excuse me boss but I believe them both to be real.

McLeish: What!? Well ye know what I mean.

Ireland: Look bass, I must say our tactics need to change a teeny bit dere perhaps.

McLeish: Change? Change!? This isn’t one of those machines at the arcade Stevie, with the 2p’s and you put tha’ 2p in tha’ wee slot and it falls down and pushes tha’ other wee 2p’s to tha’….

Gabby: What’re you talking about!? I’m sick of your ‘we can only take a shot once everytime they score’ policy, it’s a rubbish policy. Three shots in a match, it’s crazy!

*McLeish covers his mouth with horror*

McLeish: My policy…..You take that back!

Gabby: No! We need to make more chances and take more shots.

*McLeish clutches his heart*

McLeish: More!? Shots!? This is football Gabriel, no’ a night out with Roger Johnson!

Bannan: Have you still got Johnson’s number boss?

McLeish: Yer NOT going out with Roger Johnson!

*Bannan’s head drops disappointed.*