Date: 23rd March 2012 at 1:02pm
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*We join the lads preparing for their match against Arsenal, they are looking fearful*

McLeish: Look lads, dinnae be scared! We can upset old Arsene’s lads today

Petrov: By winning?!

Mcleish: Hoots man! No, I meant if we try our best we can get a nil nil draw with anyone in the league! They’ll hate that, they love all tha’ ‘Flash Harry’, ‘Silky Steve’ stuff with all the goals an’ tha’

Petrov: All the goals? Don’t they say they’re boring and go for one nil…

McLeish: Pah! Oh aye, they’ve nay seen borin’ yet! Eh lads? Eh?!

*the lads look no more encouraged, if anything more wary*

McLeish: come on boys, look at Andi, he does’nae look like a scared wee girrul.

*Weimann pauses and looks up*

Weimann: If it bleeds, we can kill it.

McLeish: ….. Um ….. Aye.

Albrighton: What are you doing there Andi…. Are you ….sharpening your boots?

*Weimann again stops rubbing the blade against his boots and stares at Albrighton*

Albrighton: Um… Nevermind… You carry on.

*Suddenly the room goes dark and the warm breeze that blew through the window turns cold*

N’Zogbia: Voodoo magic, fu….

McLeish (observing the disturbance out the window): ….Charlie! Mind yer french lad, it’s just Gervinho’s head emergin’ from tha’ Arsenal team coach.

*the lads settle with the explanation*

McLeish: Tha’s better lads now like I say, ye follow what we’ve been doin’ on tha’ training ground and we can pull a nice, wee, borin’ draw from this game.

Ireland: Which from trainin’? Tha’ human pyramid in front of Shay dere bass?

McLeish: No Stevie, ye know we cannae pull tha’ off without a fully fit Emile, I meant our general training and tactics, what other teams call ‘defence’. Now let’s go out there and show Arsenal!

*Gabby raises his hand tentatively*

McLeish: Gabriel?

Gabby: I’m not comfortable with full frontal nudity boss.

McLeish: Wha’?…

Albrighton: …Boss! Tell Andi to stop doing his ‘goalkeeper scare stare’ at me!

McLeish: Now Andi what have I told ye about using tha’ stare on anybody but opposition goalies?

*Weimann turns his gaze to McLeish who gives a high pitched yelp and points at Albrighton*

McLeish: Do it to Marc, do it to Marc!!