Date: 13th April 2012 at 12:13pm
Written by:

*We join the lads gearing up for the game against Man United*

McLeish: Now lads, last match Wigan beat Man United by closing down quickly and making good use of their possesion. Which is why I’ve decided we should…. Sit back and defend.

Weimann: But … This is not what Wigan did? This is just what we do every other match!

McLeish: Aye, but we’re no Wigan Andi, we’re no Wigan.

*the lads look each other with anger*

Gabby: Boss… I think we’re easily a match for Wigan and maybe if we adopt similar tactics we could…

McLeish: Tactics? Tactics!? Where do you think you are? Continental Europe? Who am I Alexandra McLeishio!?

Albrighton: Um… Boss ‘Alexandra’ is just a women’s name, not a euro…

*Mcleish casts Albrighton a withering glance, Albrighton shrinks into his chair and silence*

McLeish: If Aston Villa wanted Wigan style ‘fancy Dannery’ ye’d have gone for Roberto Martinez as boss.

*the lads all look at each other with wide eyes*

McLeish: What? Why are ye lookin’ like tha’?

*the lads remain silent*

McLeish: ….Anywee, you! Andi! If you get these Villa fans hopes up again with yer ‘goals’ so help me I’ll do somethin’…. I dinnae know what it’ll be because I’m nae good at bein’ attack minded, forward plannin’ or organisation but it’ll be bad! I’m talkin’ us defending against set pieces bad!

*Weimann is not paying any real attention and sniffing at the air*

Weimann: Um.. Sure, this will be no problem boss.

McLeish: Ye didnae listen to a word of tha’ did ye!?

Weimann: Uh … Yes, get the fans hopes up …and some goals. Got it.

*Weimann continues sniffing at the air*

McLeish: Yer sniffing out a goal right now aren’t you!?

*Weimann leaps out of his chair frantically looking left to right and back again*

Weimann: A Goal!? Where? This is impossible! I did not smell it!

*McLeish sighs*

McLeish: Now Fabian, I know it’s been a wee while since ye played so be wary of tha’ pace of tha’ game and mind ye don’t put in any late tackles.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter. Delph is sniffing the air*

Delph: Got you boss, kill everyone.

McLeish: What!? I didnae say tha’! Fabian? …. Fabian!? Yer sniffing fer blood aren’t you!? … Fabian!?