Date: 9th November 2012 at 10:16am
Written by:

*We Join the lads gearing up for their match against Man Utd, Benteke has approached Guzan and Given interrupting their tactical conversation.*

Benteke: Hello kids, one of you give me your gloves.

Guzan: They’re goalkeeper gloves buddy.

Given: Aye, if ya need some to keep you warm dere….

Benteke: I know what they are dwarves…

*Given and Guzan look at each other then back up at the towering Benteke*

Benteke: Well?…. Give me the gloves. The boss says I can be whatever I want to be and today, I am going to be the goalkeeper.

Given: What!?

Guzan: Hey boss, Christian says he…

Lambert: Give him the gloves! You heard the lad, he can be whatever he wants to be!

Guzan: What!?

*Guzan sulking hands over his gloves Benteke snatches them and barely fits a glove on each thumb*

Benteke: Well I suppose this will have to do…

Bent: Say boss, now Christian is in goal, there’s no reason I can’t start, right?
I mean my ankle’s fine now and….

Lambert: Christian, return the gloves.

Bent: Aww man!

*Benteke grudgingly hands back the gloves to a happy Guzan*

Benteke: Well my other idea is that I become a conductor and have my symphony orchestra play at half-time, I was thinking I would start with ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ and end with ‘Gangnam Style’.

Lambert: Aye, grand, whatever you want to be.

Bent: I can play classical flute.

Lambert: No orchestra.

Bent: Aww man!

Benteke: You ruin everything Darren! EVERYTHING!!

*Benteke flees the room, his hands masking his tears. The lads all look at Bent disapprovingly*

Bent: So…. Um I can start now?

Lambert: Andy?

Marshall: ..Yes boss.

Lambert: Ever played up top.

Marshall: Um… No boss… Not really.

*Bent grins*

Lambert: Take off your gloves son, lets see what you can do!

Marshall: Wooo hoo!

Bent: WHAT!?