Date: 11th May 2012 at 2:38pm
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*We join the lads preparing for the match against Norwich*

McLeish: Well lads, first of all let me wish everywun a happy ‘King Carlos Day’.

*the lads all wave their little spanish flags under their afro wigs*

McLeish: Now Carlos is a solid, dependable centre half which is why I play him at right back at any chance and he likes to move the ball forward, which is why we’re letting him go. Good luck Carlos.

*Cuellar wipes a tear from his eye*

McLeish: I tell you what, I hope it’s better than McLeish Out Day, they didn’t even take me anywhwere!

*the dressing room erupts with laughter*

McLeish: What have I told you lot about ‘enjoyment’!?

*The room falls silent until Albrighton answers, his afro-wigged head hung low*

Albrighton: It’s for Arsenal fans and the fans of other teams that we can never realistically win against.

McLeish: Aye. Like Norwich. Very good Marc. Well now I have the motivational section over with, let’s talk tactics.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter. McLeish glares aggressively. the room falls deadly silent once more*

McLeish: Now it’s tha’ last match of tha’ season and we’re safe from relegation so go out there and express yerselves!

*the lads look at each other, grins creeping on their faces. Delph puts down his flag, adjusts his afro and pulls a war axe from nowhere.*

McLeish: Now by ‘express’ I mean ‘stand in our own half’ and ‘yerselves’ I mean ‘keep it 0-0’.

Heskey: Um…. Boss…. I was wondering …. As it’s my last match for Villa. Do you think that maybe I could score a goal.

McLeish: No Emile, I don’t ‘think’ you can score a goal. But as it’s your last match I will let you try….. Twice.

*A few of the lads are laughing in the corner of the room*

Herd: Do it agin mate!

*Collins pats his afro and spins his chair to face the lads*

Collins: Once I was riding a three-seated tandem through the streets of Llandudno with Elvis and Aretha see, I was at the front of course as I was the most famous isn’t it.