Date: 5th October 2012 at 10:06pm
Written by:

*We join the lads gearing up for their match against Spurs, as they await Lambert’s arrival Delph is on the phone*

Delph:…I will look for you, I will find you and I WILL kill you….

Lambert: Fabian!

Delph: (quickly hanging up) Oh… Boss… I didn’t hear you come in…

Lambert: Have you hidden a phone on loudspeaker in the opposition’s dressing room again Fabian?

Delph: (guiltily) …..No……

*Yelling can be heard down the hall*

Bale: Man screw this! Real Madrid want me, I’m not dying tonight, not for you suckers …. Viva Mexico!

*The sound of a Gareth Bale sized body hurling itself out through a window can be heard as we return to Lambert who is looking at Delph with an eyebrow raised*

Delph: What? Anyone could have threatened him….. Anyone.

Bent: Look boss I want to talk about my future.

Lambert: You’re going to get caught offside.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Bent: What!? You know what I meant, my future here!

Lambert: Well Darren I don’t have a crystal ball.

Ireland: Are ya going to buy one with yer £2 million compo dere bass?

Lambert: Stephen, everyone, those rumours are unfounded and ridiculous.

*Lambert’s phone rings he answers*

Lambert: Hello…. Yes……What do you mean the Lamborghini and Ferrari are available for pick up!? I told you to wait until….. *Lambert looks sheepishly around at the players*….Um…. I mean …I’ll speak to you later … um… mum….. Love you.

*The lads all eye Lambert speculatively*

Lambert: ……What?