Date: 20th April 2012 at 2:33pm
Written by:

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Sunderland, McLeish has a particular fire in his eyes*

McLeish: Well lads as you will all know O’Neill an’ I have had a rivalry dating back years! I hate him! Hate him so much I wish I could take his glasses off snap them then put them back on him, upside-down! But I do know him inside out so I know EXACTLY what tactics we’ll need for today.

*Albrighton raises his hand, McLeish nods at him to speak*

Albrighton: Is it to defend, aiming for a nil-nil if not a one one draw boss and to play the entire game as though we’re in the lead regardless of whether we actually are?

*McLeish stares silently at Albrighton, his eyes dart to his clipboard and back*

McLeish: Have ye been readin’ ma notes Marc! Cuz I tell you wha’….!

Albrighton: No! No boss… Sorry … Um … I mean not sorry because I didn’t look at your notes, it’s just …. Well….

N’Zogbia: Zis is what we do every single match regardless if it iz your Martin O’Neill we are playing!

Albrighton: …. Um …. Yeah.

*Mcleish ponders the statements until his phone rings, he picks it up and answers in a chirpy, friendly tone*

McLeish: Oohhh Martin!!! How are you fella!?

*the lads look at each other as McLeish pulls the phone away from his ear pulls a hateful face at and shakes his fist at it before returning it to his ear again adopting his ‘nice’ voice*

McLeish: Really? Well tha’s grand…….. Wha’? ….. Gabby? £12 million ye say? …. Sorry. No deal.

*McLeish hangs up looks at the phone and yells*

McLeish: I hate you Martin! I! Hate! You!!

Heskey: Wow boss, you must really hate him to turn down £12 million for Gabby, Mr.Lerner will be so mad….

McLeish: I didnae turn him down ’cause I hate him Emile. Though I do. Hate him. I’ll be damned if I go to all the trouble of turning a right-footed, goalscoring striker into a defensive left midfielder and have someone come along and ruin all ma good work!

Gabby: Um… Does that mean I can score a goal boss? I mean I did promise the loyal fans that ….

McLeish: No! No goals for you Gabby, I dinnae ken how many times I must tell ye, if I see you 10 yards away from Steve I’ll kill ye, he’s a liability.

Warnock: Hey!

McLeish: What!? Ye are!

*Warnock bows his head without defence*