*We join the lads proud of the spirited performance for a point against Newcastle*
Lambert: Well done lads proud of all of you, Brett… Brett!! Could you stop running on the spot please …it’s quite unnerving.
Holman: Sorry boss, got lots of running in me y’know
Lambert: Yes, well I appreciate that…
Guzan: If you believe in Guzan you will be saved everytime!
Lambert: Brad great game…Stop talking to that football. Brett!!
*Holman stops mid-press-up and looks up at Lambert*
Holman: Boss?
*Lambert gestures to Holman’s empty chair*
Holman: Right… Sorry boss.
Lambert: Barry, Ciaran, great linking up for the goal and to think I was going to put you in….. the reserves.
*Bannan and Clark gulp…. Meanwhile in an unlit shack with ‘Reserves’ crudely painted on the door…..*
Hutton: So do you think they’ll ever let us out? I’m freezing and I had to eat my right boot last night.
Warnock: Meh, I’ve had worse gigs
Hutton: Blackburn?
Warnock: Definitely.
*Back at the dressing room*
Vlaar: Vlaar Vlaaaar?
Lambert: Um no Ron, you can’t keep the Newcastle starting line up. Please. Release them.
Vlaar: Vlaaaaaar!
Lambert: Yes I know you ‘owned’ them but that is figurative, a turn of phrase.
*Vlaar bows his head dejected and releases his bear hug the Newcastle team fall to the ground gasping for breath and spluttering*
Lambert: Brett!!
*Holman stops mid-sit-up*
Holman: Oh . Right. Sorry boss… So I was thinking I could run everyone home one by one, piggyback?
Lambert: ……We’ll take the coach. Thanks.
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