*We join the lads celebrating their 2-0 victory over Swansea*
Lambert: Well done lads especially the one’s I bought in, I’m half glad I had no takers for the rest of you.
*The ‘old guard’ look at each other nervously*
Lambert: You know when I joined and I realised Heskey had gone I sobbed in my room for a week, ‘where will I find a high profile striker who can’t score in the PL?’ I thought. Thanks Darren.
*The dressing room erupts with laughter*
Bent: What? I score when I want! I could score right now!
Lambert: Really? Right now? Now the match is over.
Bent: Well…
Benteke: You want more goals boss?
*Benteke boots an errant football out through the door and out of sight, seconds later there is cheering from the crowd.*
Bent: Yeah … Well ….
*Bent approaches another spare ball, a linesman promptly appears through the door a flag raised firmly in one hand and pointing at Bent with the other*
Bent: What!?…. Ah forget it!
*An alarm goes off, a robotic voice repeating ‘MeRcY, mErCy, mErCy..’*
Lambert: For the love God Brett. Get off that treadmill I’m not having you break another one this week.
Holman: Soz boss.
Lambert: Special thanks to Ron for leading this victory, none of us will soon forget that captain’s speech.
****Mind’s are cast back to Vlaar’s pre match diatribe’****
Vlaar: Vlaaaaaaaar!
*Tears stream down the eyes of all the Villa players*
N’Zogbia: ‘is words, zey are like a beautiful woman with an assault rifle
Bannan: *sniff* If I die on the pitch tonight, tell my mother I love her and that it was worth it.
*Lowton maniacally runs yelling out of the dressing room and toward the tunnel the echoes of Swansea’s screams of fear bounce back through the door.
******
*Back in the present the Villa fans breath a collective sigh of bliss*
Bent: Seriously though, when I want, I just don’t REALLY want to at the minute
Share this article
Related Articles
