Date: 27th February 2012 at 10:05am
Written by:

*We join the lads discussing their 0-0 draw with Wigan*

McLeish: Well lads, tha’ was a great opportunity to get a point from a team nae doin’ so well.

Bannan: Um…. Did we nae miss an opportunity to get three points from a team nae doin’ so well boss?

McLeish: Well you say potato, I say tomato.

Bannan: It’s ”potahto’, ‘Potateo’ or ‘tomahto’, ‘tomateo’ boss.

McLeish: Eh? that dinnae makes sense man.

Albrighton: You know boss, it’s the same thing, you just say it differently.

Bannan:#You like tomato…

Albrighton:#and I like tamahto

Bannan & Albrighton: #Let’s call the whole thing off!

*Albrighton and Bannan have one arm around each other doing ‘jazz hands’ with their free arms*

McLeish: Differently!? Ye dinnae make things different lad, just causes trouble, ye lads just stick to kickin’ tha’ ball as hard as ye can as soon as ye can ye hear!? An’ stop enjoyin’ yerself, I dinnae want you enjoyin’ yerself off the pitch as well as on it. Especially you Barry!

*Bannan drops his head, the other lads fearful and confused nod. McLeish calms. Gabby is whispering to the injured Bent.*

Gabby: That match was rubbish, I wish this season was over!

Bent: I know, I’ve actually injured myself trying so hard not to score, it’s against everything I stand for!

Gabby: I mean they made me captain, I didn’t get to fly a spaceship, I didn’t get to fly a plane, I didn’t even get to drive a boat!

Bent: Do you ‘drive’ boats?

Gabby: No, that’s what I’m complaining about! I mean I wore an eye patch and everything.

Bent: No… I mean…. Nevermind….

*Gabby looks at Bent confused*

McLeish: Now, we have to bid farewell to Keano today.

*the lads all whistle, whoop and cheer as Keane raises his hands politely acknowledging the adoration*

McLeish: Calm down! Now Keano ye came here and brought attacking flair, passion and drive….

Keane: t’anks dere bass, I always try to do…

McLeish: We can only hope it’s nae rubbed off on any of the lads and tha’ ye take all of tha’ nonsense back with ya to Australia.

Keane: Um… It’s America.

McLeish: Ah, potato tomato!