Date: 2nd March 2012 at 12:53pm
Written by:

*We join the lads preparing for their match against against Blackburn*

McLeish: Now lads, as you’ve heard many, many fans have been shouting that I need backing….

Albrighton: Um…. I don’t think they’re saying you need ‘backing’ boss I think….

McLeish: AHEM! … As I was saying, it’s time ye lads got behind me and play the way ye want me te play. Now Blackburn are nae doing to well so we’ll focus on defending against them.

Gabby: Um … Boss, do you think maybe we could attack against them? I used to like scoring goals and…

McLeish: Scoring goals!? Goals don’t earn you draws Gabriel..

Albrighton: Well technically you could earn a…

McLeish: You know what I meant! Look, did yez see Spurs last week?

*the lads all nod*

McLeish: They go out there, all ‘fancy dan’ and ‘Johnny Forward pass’

*the lads look at each other*

McLeish: …They score some goals, then what happened?……. Well? Tha’ was a question!

*N’Zogbia gingerly raises his hand*

N’Zogbia: Um…. Zey lost boss?

McLeish: Aye! They lost. Now I don’t mind a boring loss, but an exciting loss!? No. Defence is the best defence is what I say.

Gabby: Isn’t it ‘attack is the….’

McLeish: No attacking! Now to ensure none of you try and score goals, Emile, you’ll be replacing Bent up front.

*the lads all groan*

Heskey: Yes boss!

McLeish: Squander everything, run it to the corner from the off, trip over the ball if needs be.

Heskey: That won’t be a problem boss.

McLeish: I know Emile, I know. Now let’s go out there and defend!

*Heskey alone stands, he pumps his fist in the air*

Heskey: YEAAAH!!! Come on guys! …. Guys?

*the lads are all angrily staring and sneering at Heskey. Gabby and Albrighton are whispering to each other*

Gabby: Pssst … I’m gonna try and score goals.

Albrighton: … Me too…. If I can get past Emile.

*they nod at each other*