Feario the cheerio steps up to the plate…fat git is always eating… and takes the Vital Villan interview
1) When did you become a Villa fan and why?
Well, it all started at birth. I came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and was blue from head to foot. My dad pushed the nurses (who were trying to save my life at the time) out of the way and yelled at me IF YOU STAY BLUE I’LL F******G STRANGLE YOU MYSELF.
As the blood started to return to my face, I went claret and blue, dad calmed down and another Villan was born.
2) Best moment/moments as a Villa fan?
Loved the Brian Little days, especially when John Gregory was the coach. In those days anything seemed possible barring one obvious obstacle.
Getting to know Sir Dennis Of Mortimer has to be one of my favourite moments, especially when he used to come to the odd game with me, that was like having my own personal pundit! Also took a phone call from Randy when the takeover first happened which was fun!
Best moment by far, one that will never leave me, is the end of the season before last. The team of 82 went around the pitch with THE Cup. They then had their photos taken near the dug out. Next minute Dennis came over to say high and show me the cup. He knows I’d had my battles brain aches wise and I just thought that moment was ‘magic’ pure and simple. Not one for being emotional but I did have to take a breath or two to stop my eyes watering.
Old softie me really.
Also thought the club treated me great at my 40th which we had at the Holte after the Chelsea game this year (sorry, I said 40th, I of course mean 30th..cough) as they’d got me a lovely cake in the Villa shirt with …. might as well put the image up instead of blabbering on:
Another great time was when we’d had a shareholders association meeting at the Aston Hotel. We’d all voted to sell our shares to Randy and disband. Sir Dennis was talking and I got a text. To everyone’s surprise I interrupted Mr Mortimer – with good reason this time – the text said something along the lines of: ‘No details for you yet, but deal done, Ellis era over’.
There were tears amongst grown men. A group of us at the end of the night including Carl and his great dad Buck Chinn, + mates etc all went outside the Holte End, late at night, bottles of Champagne open and in fine voice. Happy days.
3) Worst moment/moments as a Villa fan?
Losing to Blackburn Rovers a good few years ago in the cup, everything seemed over as far as Villa was concerned, they thrashed us, I remember ripping up the cup season ticket book (remember them?) and throwing it on the pitch (and then hoped we didn’t end up making a come back… imagine ringing the ticket office saying I’d lost it. ‘where did you last see it?’ ‘in about 50 pieces on the pitch’ !!!!) My match report I think was just a simple ‘will the last person to leave Villa Park please turn off the lights’. Never been one for over reacting me!
Was nearly physically sick when the Blues equalised in injury time as well, never reacted like that to a goal before or after but it was like a kick in the guts, as all who were there will remember!
THE worst moment… Moscow. I NEVER expect us to do that again. If David O’Leary had done that he’d have been strung up by the goolies on lampposts of Aston.
4) Best and worst away ground visited?
Best – Old Trafford, despite a soaking and a thrashing, I did like the ground and found it hilarious how quiet they were. We were 4 down and still singing in full voice.
Worst – Must admit I like most of the grounds because being with the Villa fans away from home is just a great laugh. I like the trip to the JJB which is slowly becoming a bit of a habit with my mates but must admit for a modern ground, the space in the concourses is terrible.
5) What did you think of last season? Good, bad or indifferent and do you think we progressed?
I switched off after Moscow. Sorry, thought it was just awful. OK, I can accept not finishing in the top four just about as so many want those places but to not be giving us good serious cup runs after 3 seasons and many transfer windows is disgraceful.
Some are happy with 6th and being nearly there. Some aren’t. I’m not and the form / play at home was pretty crummy, I can’t see the attractive exciting football the manager says we are playing, maybe I’m getting my pie at the time. I’m hoping this summer will see the additions we need to really push on.
Still love going though! :o)
6) Which player/s should Villa sign this summer? And do you think Villa will spend enough this summer to progress?
We have the messiah, so I have no need to join in on this. I do so hate it when fans say we can’t attract the big players though. How will we ever know unless we bid?
A gamble on Owen would be fascinating but it would be a gamble. Bent wouldn’t be a bad call, 17 goals last season in an out of form Spurs team can’t be that bad can it? Bentley maybe? Another gamble though. Who knows, there are far better in this world than me for talent spotting, hopefully our scouts are amongst them!
7) What do you expect next season?
As things stand with Laursen and Barry gone and taking into account the lack of respect MON has shown in the cups thus far:
Premier League: 8th
FA Cup: 4th round
Europa League: Can’t answer that, don’t know if it is a priority or not yet so no good predicting (not trying to be bitchy)
Carling Cup: Depends when we draw a Championship or Cola1 team who we think we can field kids or reserves against.
Might ask this again for us all after the transfer window closes as purchases could change that greatly as could a statement from the manager as to whether he can be bothered with the cups this year or not.
8) Your opinion on Martin O’Neill now he is approaching his 4th season in charge?
What is the story about the king in his altogether? The emporer has no clothes, that is it! Is probably a great manager for a club with no resources as he can bring in the players and try to make a silk purse out of a sows ear. Doubt he’ll get us beyond 6th though, he isn’t the manager I thought he was and hope he can do something different in his 4th season in charge as the tactics seem to be fairly non existent to me.
Seems to be loved by some in the press and some fans have an unbelievable belief in him. I SO hope they are right about him. I’ve never seen a manager try the same thing over and over again getting the same result. The substitutions are baffling and unbalance the team greatly, even the pundits have picked up on this.
Time will tell, I want him to get his chance but if you can’t convince your best player that you can match his ambitions after 3 years in charge?????
I have my worries but will still keep the faith and try to be optimistic that this summer will be different and we’ll never have to hear the ‘our squad is too small to challenge’ line again.
I thank you… flame away. I know saying these things is as bad to some as it would be me walking into Church on a Sunday and telling the congregation Jesus is a myth! :o)
9) Your opinion on Randy Lerner and his board?
Top man, shows great respect to the club and fans and I think we’ve got a gem of an owner and his board are good guys working away at improving Villa as well. We are in better shape now than when they came in, that is for sure. Now to see how we as a club push on. Not an easy one is it?
10) Favourite current player?
They’ve all gone! I’d have said Mellberg, Laursen and Barry. James Milner I think will be a very good player for us over the years.
11) Favourite former player/s?
Dennis Mortimer, Andy Townsend, Paul McGrath, Tony Morley, BRIAN LITTLE… I could go on and on.
12) What did you make of the Gareth Barry departure?
I can’t argue with him. I don’t think he see’s eye to eye with the manager, I think he see’s the same mad substitutions, strange purchases when he was looking to be convinced that the arrivals would be matching his ambitions. I also think with the money Man City have, he might be right (I BLOODY HOPE NOT) that they have a better chance of making the Champions League next season. I also think – I’ve not spoken to him so don’t know – he would have been just as upset as many of us were over the Moscow thing? Look, he wanted to play in Europe for years and wanted to win something whilst at Villa. What happened when we got close? The manager bottled it. The very same week Gareth told the press he wasn’t at all tired or jaded. He didn’t mention Europe but that can’t have been a coincidence?
He was a great player for us, he will forever have my thanks for the last season under David O’Leary. I am sure that without him and James Milner (who was on loan from Newcastle at the time) we would have been relegated and a club our size bouncing straight back would not be easy as Newcastle might find out next season because ever team visiting would be 1000% up for it, it would be like a Wembley trip to some!
I wish he’d not gone, I refuse to believe it was just about money because our club DID give him a good offer, although at my bitchiest I did do a title saying £areth £arry purely because he had said he only really wanted to go for Champions League football !!! Maybe he realised a top four team weren’t coming in for him though so he has hedged his bets to who he thinks has the better chance next season?
Fans don’t move, players are employees, they can move if they get a better offer. Those that are calling him a liar, a traitor or the few who have said they hope he breaks his legs are way off the mark in my ever so humble opinion.
13) Right, lets lower the tone… which celebrity would you most like to bang?!
What was the name of the girlie that Crouchie dates and was on Hells Kitchen? Well, she’d do and then she could cook me a meal in thanks for my services… that is how it should be isn’t it? Me sexist? How dare you. Rachel Stevens, if she played her cards right, could talk me into bed as well! Jessica Alba, Jessica Rabbit….. basically anything with a pulse would be a start!
With thanks to Jonathan Fear… aka The Twat… sorry, meant The Fear
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