Date: 2nd October 2009 at 9:44pm
Written by:

Hi Gareth, welcome back.

You may remember us, the ones you left behind. I seem to remember you left due to our lack of real ambition.

Lack of ambition?

If Andy Marshall and Habib, Habib Beye…isn`t a clear sign of ambitious times, then I am a Swiss mountain goat called Keith.

So the Premier League rollercoaster moves on and a date that most Villa supporters will have been looking for ever since Gareth Barry swapped Villa Park for Eastlands in the summer. A floodlight evening, a thing of magic, sets the scene for the former hero, no longer a Villan to step back onto a pitch that once was familiar, but now, may seem just a touch hostile.

It`s Villa
Money can`t buy you love you know,
But it can, a ******* nice car!

Vital Quotes:

Martin O`Neill is not the Messiah, as admitted by the man himself to

“I wouldn’t know what reception we would get, never mind what he will get. It’s not my job to go running around like God Almighty and telling people what to do and not to do.”

It is kind of your job to tell people what to do however Martin, as states a definition of manager:

‘One who is in charge of the training and performance of an athlete or a team.`

Now we`ve cleared that up, Martin (the manager) went on to say about his former captain:

Gareth was a very good player here. He was here a long, long time. He gave a lot of service.

“He chose to leave and I accepted his decision.

“He has gone now. He will arrive here and it will be very strange to see him in another shirt rather than Villa’s but we are trying to move on. Players leave football clubs – it happens.

“I am hoping Villa Park will be roaring as it has done a number of times over the past few years. It would be nice to get back to that.”

Meanwhile, Vital Villa editor of apparently, Jonathan Fear spoke to about a certain Mr Barry:

“He gave us really good service and a lot of fans remember that. But there are some who are angry that he left.”

“If I take my rose-tinted specs off, I can see that he has more chance of reaching the Champions League at City than with us.

“He has certainly had a new lease of life since going there. We have to remember we are fans and players are employees.”

What a load of tosh, as ‘Arry Redknapp` says, over and over and over.


Nothing from Gareth himself yet, or indeed much from Manchester City regarding the game so I will simply quote their manager Mark Hughes talking utter tripe:

“When you look at similar cases in the past you could argue that the fine is bigger,’ said Hughes.

“But we knew there was a chance Emmanuel may have got more games so we are grateful that hasn’t happened.

“Emmanuel apologised straight away but you must look at the degree of things. There was a bit of provocation and that needs to be taken into account.”

A bit of provocation? I wish my misguided views on size were so convincing!

I`m sure my fellow Vital Villa editors will update you on all the pre-match quotes!

Aston Villa Team News:

Steve Sidwell has recovered from the hamstring injury that kept him out of our dismal 2-1 defeat at the hands of Blackburn.

My fellow ginger ninja is likely to step in for Fabian Delph, despite by great tactical suggestion of using Nigel Reo-Coker as a “run around and kick Gareth Barry” machine.

MON knows nothing.

Luke Young isn`t expected back until after the international break following his compassionate leave and recovery from injury.

Moustapha Salifou is currently missing, presumed pointless.

My Predicted Team: Friedel, Warnock, Dunne, Collins, Cuellar, Young, Petrov (C), Sidwell, Milner, Agbonlahor, Carew

Player to watch: Emile Heskey

Watch him, go on, it’s hilarious!

Manchester City Team News:

Emmanuel Adebayor returns from suspension, his ludicrous 90 yard, crowd inciting, dash to celebrate only punished by a suspended suspension, and (when you consider his weekly wage) pointless £25,000 fine.

Roque Santa-Claus may take a place on the City bench.

Benjani, Kompany, Onuoha and Robinho are all long term injury woes.

Player to watch: Gareth Barry


Only joking!

Well it had to be Gareth, didn`t it?

Match Facts & Stats

As I did last time, again I doth highlight a Manchester band far better than Oasis, although technically they are from Wilmslow but shhh. In honour, once again, of our leader.

This preview was written on a train mostly, hence the wonky handwriting, I`m sorry.

We always knew, all along, that Gareth Barry was rubbish. We just didn`t want to tell him.

Manchester is famous for Coronation Street, Oasis, trams, being “mad for it” and melon twisting.

Before Man City had an awful lot of money, nobody particularly cared about them.

Manchester is twinned with Wuhan in China, which was largely obliterated in 1944 by the USAF, who were attempting to attack Japan, only joking yanks!

I should probably be asleep.

Ref Watch:

Chris Hoy, or Foy, something like that! Let`s face it all the Premier League refs are rubbish so who really cares.

Match Prediction:

A frightfully dull 74-74 draw.

Next Fixtures:

Ah nuts, Chelski at home on the 17th of October.