Date: 2nd May 2008 at 3:03pm
Written by:

An Offer To Liverpool

I would formally like to offer the following to Liverpool Football Club and their mini-me-Tom Jones-lookalike Rafa Benitez.

Fernando Torres to Villa.

In exchange we would allow you to take Bella the mascot, Moustapha Salifou, Thomas Sorensen, you can have Scott Carson back and we’ll throw in £3.50

We’ll do the negotiations as you know best, through the press.

How does that sound?